A Denim Lament

I went shopping for jeans yesterday.  It was so much worse than bathing suit shopping.

(BTW, If you happen to be male and you're reading this, feel free to tune out. This post is for the ladies.)

Sigh.

You know, I normally feel pretty comfortable with my body.  Excluding the three pregnancies, I've been exactly the same weight (130 lbs +/- 1 lb) for the last 10 years.  10 years!  I think it is a decent weight, not too thin and not too fat.  My BMI is supposedly in the exact center of the "normal" range, so why is it that when I go shopping for jeans, it turns out that I have freakishly thick thighs, short legs, and, introducing this year a huge butt (super!!).

Good grief.

I put Ben in lunch-and-play at his preschool for two hours.  That way, I'd have at least 3 or 4 hours to find a pair of jeans.  I had time, I had money, I was willing to spend my money, and I had the largest mall on the east coast in which to shop (King of Prussia).  How hard should this have been, right?

I must have tried on 45 pairs of jeans. 45 pairs!!!!!   I went shopping by myself for maximum efficiency, and I was operating with strike force precision-- enter store, pick out all the different kinds of jeans in two size range, try them all on, stare with abject horror in the mirror, move onto the next store.  I even went to the mall with preparations, by asking some friends what kinds of jeans they've bought recently so I could try those first.  After a few places, I could eliminate a few styles, but still.  I tried on a ton of different brands and styles.

Finally, in complete desperation, I entered an upscale denim store.  And, when the lady asked me if I needed help, I took her for all her worth.  She looked at me and stated (very kindly and diplomatically, I might add) that  I have an "athletic build" and pointed me toward a particular wall of jeans. As I suspected, I do have freakishly thick thighs from years of cycling, fencing and swimming.  They're powerful thighs, and they are not meant for "skinny" jeans. 

Finally, after considerable anguish, I found a pair of jeans that were a) the correct length (are most people wearing jeans with 5-inch stilettos or something, now??  did I just miss that memo?? or have I shrunk three inches??), b) covered my enormous athletic booty and thighs without being as tight as a sausage casing, and 3) were a "cool" wash.  At least I hope they are a "cool" wash.  Dark denim better still in style this season because I am NOT going back out there again.

I haven't taken the tags of my new pair of jeans yet because I have sticker shock.  But, I think I might do it before back-to-school night on Thursday.  Either that, or I'll return them and just wear "easy fit" cargo pants and A-line skirts for the rest of my life....