Bug off Bug People

True Story:

A few days ago, I received a solicitation phone call from a bug control company wondering whether or not I'd like to take advantage of some reduced pesticide application rates since they will be in the neighborhood treating some nearby lawns.

My first thought, "Which neighbors?"  (Because I really want to go knock on their doors and talk some sense into them.)

Instead I replied, "What infestation are you treating for?"  Even though I ended my sentence in a preposition, I figured if there is some horrible and damaging creature is on the way, like carpenter ants or termites, maybe I would consider some pest-specific pesticide application.

Bug Person:  "Oh, nothing specific.  This is a pre-emptive application of pesticide to reduce spring bugs by 70%."

Me:  "Wow.  70% of all bugs killed?"

Bug Person (very excited):  "Oh Yes!  This application will kill all the eggs and larvae of insects in the spring!!

Me:  "This chemical will linger in the soil all the way until the spring?"

Bug Person:  "Oh yes!  Guaranteed!"

Me:  "What about all the beneficial insects, like ladybugs, spiders, pollinators (bees), and butterflies?"

Bug Person (pausing):  "Well.... it will reduce those too."

 Me:  "Oh.  What areas of my property would you be treating?"

Bug Person (excited again):  "EVERY SQUARE INCH!  Every bit of lawn, every shrub, every tree, and your house!!!!"
 
Me:  "I don't have a lot of problems with infestation in my vinyl siding."

Bug Person:  "We can treat your foundation!"

Me: "It's concrete and steel."

Bug Person:  "Everywhere else then!!!"

Me:  "You know, I really think it is a terrible idea to apply a nonspecific, broad-band pesticide with unknown long-term toxicological effects. In particular, elevated concentrations of these pesticides in higher trophic levels will undoubtedly affect populations of desirable organisms in my yard, like earthworms and birds.  Furthermore, my entire neighborhood lies along a ridge line and is located at the headwaters of not one but two, stream headwaters.  Due to the limited stream volume in headwaters, these habitats are particularly susceptible to runoff of pesticides and fertilizers from overly anxious and poorly educated outfits like you."

OK. I didn't really say that.  But wouldn't it have been awesome if I had? 

Me: "Since you are not treating any particular infestation, broad-band pesticide application is not recommended or warranted in my yard.  Please take me off you calling list.

Bug Person: "Blah, blah blah only $49.95 x 10% "friend discount" off per quarterly application.

(So this means my neighbors are spraying poison into their yard REGULARLY!  Oh joy!!)

Me:  "Thanks for calling."  Click.

People......Let's show a little environmental consciousness here.  Please don't indiscriminately spray your yards with pesticides unless you are really having a problem with a particular deleterious bug, even if it is really, really cheap to do so. Not only do you kill things that you don't mean to kill, but these chemicals end up in your drinking water.  There are so many other reasons to skip pesticide application too, but I'm going to step off my environmental soap box.  For now.